"My girlhood just isn’t my most meaningful Era. What I suspect about Taylor — who is only 11 months younger than me — is that her girlhood isn’t hers, either." I think this is spot-on. What I see (as someone who knows very little, couldn't name more than one song, but DOES watch football and therefore has had Taylor thrust into my consciousness) is that she's re-inventing the girlhood she wishes she had and using the longing for the one she didn't as fodder for the rewriting of that experience. Case in point: dating America's most popular football player. Every time I see her in the box I imagine her girlhood fantasy of being a cheerleader dating the BMOC. America's prom king and queen. Also, "squirle." Can't explain it, but that has my heart exploding with joy and affection. #crazy
I am not even a Swiftie but your thoughts got under my skin and I felt compelled to defend her!! Saying that Taylor Swift's music is a celebration of girlhood completely misses the mark.
I was very much NOT a fan, like you, until 2020 when a friend sent me "Invisible String" and I found it very sweet and inoffensive. I binged the rest of folklore and was delighted. I felt a similar fondness for evermore. I enjoyed midnights (but am offended/baffled that it won album of the year). I have not gone back and listened to any of her work prior to folklore. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I find "Love Story" jarring and pandering. You can say that song is a celebration of girlhood - that's fine. But the magic of Taylor is her ability to reflect on her life and make meaning out of her past.
I'll quote Taffy from her appearance on The Daily (have you listened to this episode? would love to hear your take): "She has these songs that sound like amazing pop songs. She is a songwriting savant. But at some point, if you surround yourself with the music enough, you start to understand what she is doing, which is she is telling the story of girlhood into womanhood. Hmm. And in her songs, I see it. I see her in real time cataloging the experiences of what it means to grow up...
yes, they seem like only love songs. What a great trick that you could write about business betrayal and friendship betrayal in a love song. But then when you land on what is unique about a woman, a girl, a female experience, it's that we tend to And I know I am speaking in a highly subjective way. We tend to take all of that to heart in the same way. You know, times that I've been betrayed in business hurt as much as the times I've been cheated on by boyfriends.
It all lives in the same place. And finally, I don't know why it took so long for somebody to understand that we needed songs about these things. These are the full range of a woman's experience of, of any person's experience. And she channeled it."
As Michael says, "So from early on, from the very beginning, what Taylor Swift is up to is processing the very personal pain of girlhood through her music. It's very biographical. And what you're saying is really distinct about it is that it makes no attempt to glamorize or pretend that these were wonderful times. It's a real admission of just kind of the awfulness of being alive...
What you have clearly just demonstrated is that the Taylor Swift project of internalizing pain and turning it into music has the effect that you're describing on tens of millions of people. It makes them see a anew, a lot of the pain in their lives to look at squarely in the face and to try to better understand it and to have a catharsis around it."
Taffy ends by saying, "Everyone is singing that same lyric and it was something different for everybody. But in that moment, I knew what Taylor Swift has known all along, which is that this emotion is universal. We, the more detail you give, the more I will find myself in it. The more you trust me as a listener and let me into your life, the more I will find myself the way you have rendered a life. And I will be so grateful for the rest of my life to have been able to sing that and to be able to have some sort of catharsis around it. Clearly it wasn't enough. 'cause here I am crying on The Daily, all great art is the art that sees you."
FWIW I was overweight and uncool growing up but I think that's a nonsequitur when discussing the appeal of TS. You don't have to date celebrities and be rail-thin to appreciate her storytelling.
Ohhh my!! Thank you for this! I have been wondering lately “what is wrong with me? Why doesn’t she speak to me?” And you’ve nailed it, I have no desire to go back. 🤍
Thank you so much for this piece. After experiencing situation after situation where people are talking about how Taylor makes them feel SO MUCH, I can't help but also wonder why she makes me feel so little. My girlhood was enveloped by anorexia, to the extent that I removed myself from the romantic world and never perceived myself as being the heroine in any story - rather, a person standing on the precipice of existence, unreal and trying to disappear physically and mentally. Your piece has really nailed it for me, something that I hadn't been able to enunciate before. I feel that my lack of this meaningful, familiar girlhood is perhaps why I also don't connect or resonate with her work also.
This was raw as hell and a really important contribution to the TS convo, as far as I’m concerned. That person’s ginormous comment here (I’m not even gonna reply to them) is exactly what’s problematic w her fan base- you can’t share your own experience and digestion of her music without a finger wagged in your face about why ur wrong. Crazy lol. I like some of Taylor’s music, but like you, I’m more of an Ariana or Dua type. If I’m going to listen to something saccharine, I want it to be fun and boppy, not pulling at the heartstrings of my inner 12-yr-old ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Love this perspective. (Major LOL at her sexy intelligent jock). So true about celebrating girlhood and how it doesn’t reflect everyone’s experience. 🤍
Personally, I never liked Taylor swift until I was utterly devastated by a break up a few years ago (like crying on the floor relentlessly), and then a friend sent me “August” from her Folklore album. I devoured the entire album and loved it. It kind of got me through it somehow.
I’m not a fan of all (or most) of her music… but she got me with the heartache stuff.
And I jam to “Bejeweled” (major Leo vibes). And “Karma”…
I've been pondering this post bc I also hate the girlhood messaging around Taylor even though I've been very locked into her since ~2012 or 2013 and am (as you know) a crazy fan. She was not a soundtrack to my own childhood bc I didn't listen to popular music really at all until some time in college. (I was homeschooled.) And I think her own music is way more broad in scope than "girlhood." Part of what makes Taylor-watching personally satisfying right now for me is the way she seems to be enjoying being an adult who cuts her own deals and calls her own shots. I feel like at some point in 2023 she woke up and said, hold up guys, I'm Taylor Fuckin' Swift.
So my question that's sort of parallel to yours is: why is this way of thinking about her so popular? why is it more appealing to her own fans to make her into the eternal girl? Don't get me wrong, a lot of her tour aesthetics are very girlish, I'm not saying she doesn't have a girly side or anything. But she has songs on her set list that point in a very different emotional direction, too. It's almost like for some portion of her fans she's performing some sort of reverse portrait of Dorian Gray function, like as long as they can act like she's never grown up, they can act like they haven't either. idk idk.
eta: meant to add, I think a good taylor without taylor experience for anyone who wants one is this cover album (https://somethingmerry.bandcamp.com/album/rered). The poppier Max Martin songs are mostly disasters but the rest is very solid.
I don’t just ‘catch your drift’, I am on the surfboard with you riding that wave, I am blown in circles by the same tornado. Watch us Tokyo drifting with the wicked witch. We're the weirdos, mister!
I didn't expect to be hit a psychological analysis of myself on my Substack feed this morning, but I'm glad I did. I was fat, thought I was fat when I wasn't, grew up in the thick of diet culture that had our mothers in a chokehold, and received little-to-no male attention during my high school and college years. I've been married nearly four years and sometimes still wonder to myself why my husband wanted to be with me. I also know this gives "I'm VERY DIFFERENT" energy, but I literally cannot relate to a single thing Swift sings about. I'm not a hater, I just don't get it. And now I know why.
I think I'll agree with the middle/upper middle class part, but not sure about "white." However, it might also be because I upbringing doesn't fit the narrative of what a child of East Asian immigrants is supposed to experience.
I’ve gotta say, I’m right there with you. Her debut releases were too Wonder bread for my rebellious teenage self and it never occurred to me to try again. I don’t think she has missed my presence, fortunately.
I remember Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” video depicting a girl suffering from anorexia, which resonated quite a bit with me at the time. Taylor’s “fat” reading on the scale doubtless would have too, although I know a younger me would have thought, “Man, if SHE thinks she’s fat, I’m in sorry shape.”
You've touched on something I didn't realize about myself - my girlhood isn't something I look back at fondly either, though I do, like you, wish I could romanticize it ala Petra Collins.
I've always asked myself why I just couldn't 'get with it' and I'm currently at: this just isn't the expression of femininity that makes me feel empowered and that's okay!
"My girlhood just isn’t my most meaningful Era. What I suspect about Taylor — who is only 11 months younger than me — is that her girlhood isn’t hers, either." I think this is spot-on. What I see (as someone who knows very little, couldn't name more than one song, but DOES watch football and therefore has had Taylor thrust into my consciousness) is that she's re-inventing the girlhood she wishes she had and using the longing for the one she didn't as fodder for the rewriting of that experience. Case in point: dating America's most popular football player. Every time I see her in the box I imagine her girlhood fantasy of being a cheerleader dating the BMOC. America's prom king and queen. Also, "squirle." Can't explain it, but that has my heart exploding with joy and affection. #crazy
I am not even a Swiftie but your thoughts got under my skin and I felt compelled to defend her!! Saying that Taylor Swift's music is a celebration of girlhood completely misses the mark.
I was very much NOT a fan, like you, until 2020 when a friend sent me "Invisible String" and I found it very sweet and inoffensive. I binged the rest of folklore and was delighted. I felt a similar fondness for evermore. I enjoyed midnights (but am offended/baffled that it won album of the year). I have not gone back and listened to any of her work prior to folklore. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I find "Love Story" jarring and pandering. You can say that song is a celebration of girlhood - that's fine. But the magic of Taylor is her ability to reflect on her life and make meaning out of her past.
I'll quote Taffy from her appearance on The Daily (have you listened to this episode? would love to hear your take): "She has these songs that sound like amazing pop songs. She is a songwriting savant. But at some point, if you surround yourself with the music enough, you start to understand what she is doing, which is she is telling the story of girlhood into womanhood. Hmm. And in her songs, I see it. I see her in real time cataloging the experiences of what it means to grow up...
yes, they seem like only love songs. What a great trick that you could write about business betrayal and friendship betrayal in a love song. But then when you land on what is unique about a woman, a girl, a female experience, it's that we tend to And I know I am speaking in a highly subjective way. We tend to take all of that to heart in the same way. You know, times that I've been betrayed in business hurt as much as the times I've been cheated on by boyfriends.
It all lives in the same place. And finally, I don't know why it took so long for somebody to understand that we needed songs about these things. These are the full range of a woman's experience of, of any person's experience. And she channeled it."
As Michael says, "So from early on, from the very beginning, what Taylor Swift is up to is processing the very personal pain of girlhood through her music. It's very biographical. And what you're saying is really distinct about it is that it makes no attempt to glamorize or pretend that these were wonderful times. It's a real admission of just kind of the awfulness of being alive...
What you have clearly just demonstrated is that the Taylor Swift project of internalizing pain and turning it into music has the effect that you're describing on tens of millions of people. It makes them see a anew, a lot of the pain in their lives to look at squarely in the face and to try to better understand it and to have a catharsis around it."
Taffy ends by saying, "Everyone is singing that same lyric and it was something different for everybody. But in that moment, I knew what Taylor Swift has known all along, which is that this emotion is universal. We, the more detail you give, the more I will find myself in it. The more you trust me as a listener and let me into your life, the more I will find myself the way you have rendered a life. And I will be so grateful for the rest of my life to have been able to sing that and to be able to have some sort of catharsis around it. Clearly it wasn't enough. 'cause here I am crying on The Daily, all great art is the art that sees you."
FWIW I was overweight and uncool growing up but I think that's a nonsequitur when discussing the appeal of TS. You don't have to date celebrities and be rail-thin to appreciate her storytelling.
Ohhh my!! Thank you for this! I have been wondering lately “what is wrong with me? Why doesn’t she speak to me?” And you’ve nailed it, I have no desire to go back. 🤍
Thank you so much for this piece. After experiencing situation after situation where people are talking about how Taylor makes them feel SO MUCH, I can't help but also wonder why she makes me feel so little. My girlhood was enveloped by anorexia, to the extent that I removed myself from the romantic world and never perceived myself as being the heroine in any story - rather, a person standing on the precipice of existence, unreal and trying to disappear physically and mentally. Your piece has really nailed it for me, something that I hadn't been able to enunciate before. I feel that my lack of this meaningful, familiar girlhood is perhaps why I also don't connect or resonate with her work also.
This was raw as hell and a really important contribution to the TS convo, as far as I’m concerned. That person’s ginormous comment here (I’m not even gonna reply to them) is exactly what’s problematic w her fan base- you can’t share your own experience and digestion of her music without a finger wagged in your face about why ur wrong. Crazy lol. I like some of Taylor’s music, but like you, I’m more of an Ariana or Dua type. If I’m going to listen to something saccharine, I want it to be fun and boppy, not pulling at the heartstrings of my inner 12-yr-old ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Love this perspective. (Major LOL at her sexy intelligent jock). So true about celebrating girlhood and how it doesn’t reflect everyone’s experience. 🤍
Personally, I never liked Taylor swift until I was utterly devastated by a break up a few years ago (like crying on the floor relentlessly), and then a friend sent me “August” from her Folklore album. I devoured the entire album and loved it. It kind of got me through it somehow.
I’m not a fan of all (or most) of her music… but she got me with the heartache stuff.
And I jam to “Bejeweled” (major Leo vibes). And “Karma”…
BUT I get why people aren’t into it. 👀
The edit to the video (and the reaction that prompted the edit) made me feel actually insane last year!
I've been pondering this post bc I also hate the girlhood messaging around Taylor even though I've been very locked into her since ~2012 or 2013 and am (as you know) a crazy fan. She was not a soundtrack to my own childhood bc I didn't listen to popular music really at all until some time in college. (I was homeschooled.) And I think her own music is way more broad in scope than "girlhood." Part of what makes Taylor-watching personally satisfying right now for me is the way she seems to be enjoying being an adult who cuts her own deals and calls her own shots. I feel like at some point in 2023 she woke up and said, hold up guys, I'm Taylor Fuckin' Swift.
So my question that's sort of parallel to yours is: why is this way of thinking about her so popular? why is it more appealing to her own fans to make her into the eternal girl? Don't get me wrong, a lot of her tour aesthetics are very girlish, I'm not saying she doesn't have a girly side or anything. But she has songs on her set list that point in a very different emotional direction, too. It's almost like for some portion of her fans she's performing some sort of reverse portrait of Dorian Gray function, like as long as they can act like she's never grown up, they can act like they haven't either. idk idk.
eta: meant to add, I think a good taylor without taylor experience for anyone who wants one is this cover album (https://somethingmerry.bandcamp.com/album/rered). The poppier Max Martin songs are mostly disasters but the rest is very solid.
I don’t just ‘catch your drift’, I am on the surfboard with you riding that wave, I am blown in circles by the same tornado. Watch us Tokyo drifting with the wicked witch. We're the weirdos, mister!
Love this!! Such a smart and valid take, I definitely resonate.
A question I never thought to ponder and now it all makes sense after reading this essay. Loved it! Thanks for sharing <3
I didn't expect to be hit a psychological analysis of myself on my Substack feed this morning, but I'm glad I did. I was fat, thought I was fat when I wasn't, grew up in the thick of diet culture that had our mothers in a chokehold, and received little-to-no male attention during my high school and college years. I've been married nearly four years and sometimes still wonder to myself why my husband wanted to be with me. I also know this gives "I'm VERY DIFFERENT" energy, but I literally cannot relate to a single thing Swift sings about. I'm not a hater, I just don't get it. And now I know why.
I think I'll agree with the middle/upper middle class part, but not sure about "white." However, it might also be because I upbringing doesn't fit the narrative of what a child of East Asian immigrants is supposed to experience.
I’ve gotta say, I’m right there with you. Her debut releases were too Wonder bread for my rebellious teenage self and it never occurred to me to try again. I don’t think she has missed my presence, fortunately.
I remember Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” video depicting a girl suffering from anorexia, which resonated quite a bit with me at the time. Taylor’s “fat” reading on the scale doubtless would have too, although I know a younger me would have thought, “Man, if SHE thinks she’s fat, I’m in sorry shape.”
You've touched on something I didn't realize about myself - my girlhood isn't something I look back at fondly either, though I do, like you, wish I could romanticize it ala Petra Collins.
I've always asked myself why I just couldn't 'get with it' and I'm currently at: this just isn't the expression of femininity that makes me feel empowered and that's okay!
💯