Love this so much! I had a similar experience after giving birth to twins. I remember looking at myself in profile in the hospital mirror: heavy breasts, bagged-out belly, my spine so used to counterbalancing 40 lbs of womb-weight that I couldn't even stand up straight. I was misshapen, milk-laden, almost unrecognizable to myself. But after a worrisome pregnancy, I had two (2!) healthy full-term baby boys, thanks to MY body. A body I'd been wary and mistrustful of from, well... puberty until the day I delivered.
Suddenly, I'd never loved it more. Or maybe it was the first time I ever truly loved my body. For what it had given me, for the miraculous, mammalian feat it had somehow pulled off with only limited care and feeding on my part. It seems sad that it took so long to appreciate my body. I was 32. But also wonderful that after such a fraught history with my physical self, I ever came to that moment.
Yes! I find motherhood makes me love my body for what it can do. I’ve always hated it for how it looks. I remember feeling more beautiful than ever while pregnant.
I relate to this so much! Thank you for sharing! As a newer mom, I recently packed for a trip and realized how quickly I packed my clothes. I wear a small rotation of loungewear most weeks. As someone who has always had packing anxiety because I just had to have a new, fun outfit from Anthropologie each day, this was refreshing and *easy*. My appearance was always so important and now I find the lack of focus on my physical appearance to be a nice change. I realize I don’t care about being in my swimsuit at my daughter’s swim class, a situation that would sent the old version of myself through a two hour rumination period of believing everyone was looking at me. Your story is very relatable for me. I wonder how it will change in a decade when I no longer have a baby who needs me- will I begin to obsess again? Will I feel bad about myself? I’m interested to see how it will change in time. But for now, I’m really appreciating this change of pace.
Loved this article and really resonated with Margo's description of the body=identity conundrum. As a childfree woman who is now post-menopausal, I have really struggled to find a way to disconnect body from identity in my own way. It's proving very difficult!
It IS so difficult. For me (and this might be different from Margo's feelings) it's not so much that I want to disconnect my body from the real "me" -- in fact I think body/self are very much one -- but that I don't want my body to be the thing that is most attached with who I am. My body and I are inextricable, but my body isn't the only thing that is "me," or the thing that is the most "me," you know? It's kind of like thinking of body + self as in the same stew, rather than separating the body out as its own entity. (Or something, still working on this lol)
Wow what’s compelling read. I was absolutely obsessed with my appearance for validation for quite some time but as I’ve started weight lifting and shifted my outlook from outward attention to inward sensation I’ve developed a remarkably more loving and whole relationship with myself
These words are full of bravery and courage! I love seeing how they resonate with other new mamas! I am raising a girl in this world, and I often wonder how I can protect her from the trap of hating her body that all of us somehow seem to fall into. How can I mother in a way that encourages her to be liberated from obsessing over her body....in a way that it won't take her necessarily getting pregnant and giving birth to feel? It's so beautiful that motherhood snaps so many of us out of it, but I think about the women who don't want to become mothers. I'm hopeful that they can find this same beautiful release!
Love this so much! I had a similar experience after giving birth to twins. I remember looking at myself in profile in the hospital mirror: heavy breasts, bagged-out belly, my spine so used to counterbalancing 40 lbs of womb-weight that I couldn't even stand up straight. I was misshapen, milk-laden, almost unrecognizable to myself. But after a worrisome pregnancy, I had two (2!) healthy full-term baby boys, thanks to MY body. A body I'd been wary and mistrustful of from, well... puberty until the day I delivered.
Suddenly, I'd never loved it more. Or maybe it was the first time I ever truly loved my body. For what it had given me, for the miraculous, mammalian feat it had somehow pulled off with only limited care and feeding on my part. It seems sad that it took so long to appreciate my body. I was 32. But also wonderful that after such a fraught history with my physical self, I ever came to that moment.
Yes! I find motherhood makes me love my body for what it can do. I’ve always hated it for how it looks. I remember feeling more beautiful than ever while pregnant.
This is so beautiful, I love this for you.
I relate to this so much! Thank you for sharing! As a newer mom, I recently packed for a trip and realized how quickly I packed my clothes. I wear a small rotation of loungewear most weeks. As someone who has always had packing anxiety because I just had to have a new, fun outfit from Anthropologie each day, this was refreshing and *easy*. My appearance was always so important and now I find the lack of focus on my physical appearance to be a nice change. I realize I don’t care about being in my swimsuit at my daughter’s swim class, a situation that would sent the old version of myself through a two hour rumination period of believing everyone was looking at me. Your story is very relatable for me. I wonder how it will change in a decade when I no longer have a baby who needs me- will I begin to obsess again? Will I feel bad about myself? I’m interested to see how it will change in time. But for now, I’m really appreciating this change of pace.
I think if you try to hold onto this feeling you have now, you'll be less likely to obsess again in the future :) Here's hoping
Loved this article and really resonated with Margo's description of the body=identity conundrum. As a childfree woman who is now post-menopausal, I have really struggled to find a way to disconnect body from identity in my own way. It's proving very difficult!
It IS so difficult. For me (and this might be different from Margo's feelings) it's not so much that I want to disconnect my body from the real "me" -- in fact I think body/self are very much one -- but that I don't want my body to be the thing that is most attached with who I am. My body and I are inextricable, but my body isn't the only thing that is "me," or the thing that is the most "me," you know? It's kind of like thinking of body + self as in the same stew, rather than separating the body out as its own entity. (Or something, still working on this lol)
This is beautiful!
Thanks Alannah!
Wow what’s compelling read. I was absolutely obsessed with my appearance for validation for quite some time but as I’ve started weight lifting and shifted my outlook from outward attention to inward sensation I’ve developed a remarkably more loving and whole relationship with myself
Excellent article, thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks Jaimie!
I loved this piece. Will seek out her other work!
These words are full of bravery and courage! I love seeing how they resonate with other new mamas! I am raising a girl in this world, and I often wonder how I can protect her from the trap of hating her body that all of us somehow seem to fall into. How can I mother in a way that encourages her to be liberated from obsessing over her body....in a way that it won't take her necessarily getting pregnant and giving birth to feel? It's so beautiful that motherhood snaps so many of us out of it, but I think about the women who don't want to become mothers. I'm hopeful that they can find this same beautiful release!