So powerful, thank you once again for your continued body image support. I chant to myself every morning self love praise to drown out the sadness over the ever growing and changing female body staring back at me in the mirror. My once 8 pack fitness model abs covered by...I’m not sure what this is. All I know is that I am healthier than I’ve ever been off of drugs, alcohol, nicotine, adderol, and sugar. I practice mindful eating and this is what “healthy” wants to look like on me.
I love your comment that we don’t really know how the body works. This really resonated with me. A gift now engrained in my mind that I will carry with me. A new chant to support the desire to love myself. Because it feels so much better than the negative self talk.
I'm still struck by the moment in Oprah's interview with Adele when Adele talks about how she started lifting and identified herself as an athlete. Oprah was shocked. Which honestly made me sad. I wonder how much of Oprah's mindset/approach toward her body could improve with a strength regimen (that could also perhaps help with some of her see-sawing weight?). I appreciate your critiques here and your recognition of Oprah's humanity, and it also just sucks to see someone still trapped in a battle they've been fighting for 30+ years. When do we rest from our own self-criticism?
This is a great point. I had a thought about this while writing but tbh have no idea what kind of exercise Oprah does or not. But the interview did make it seem like she’s not really a strength training gal at the moment. I do wonder how that would go for her if she really got into it.
And yes, the fact that rest seems to elude us all… incredibly sad
Or accept our criticism may always be with us? What if we loved our criticism instead of fought it? These are just thoughts I’m saying out loud for myself:).
This was a great piece, Mikala - thank you for writing what I have been struggling to come up with myself. I think you're spot on about Oprah doing this because she's a "finisher" - I think my perfectionism is the reason I keep cycling between starting a "diet" or Noom or something and radical self-acceptance. I feel too that I am a finisher who maybe even isn't doing this because of other people's opinions of me, but simply to prove I can. This gave me something to think about. Thank you!
Thanks for all this. I’ve avoided the whole pearl-clutching scene around Oprah’s latest weight news as much as possible, but your piece made me finally click that NYT op-ed. Is it wrong to be shocked by Weiner’s lack of disclosure? They typically make you report on conflicts of interest, and I think if you’re going to use a massive platform like an NYT op ed to bash someone else’s body management choices, the writer’s involvement seems worth mentioning. And what was with the strange midpoint where out of nowhere came a bittersweet longing for a body positivity moment. Did I miss that? Near as I can tell, the Ozempic wave began building long before Oprah’s People interview. More diverse representation has been building, too. Pocketbooks will ultimately determine the victor. Businesses don’t advertise to be charitable. As you so deftly point out, the invterview is calculated to inflate Weight Watchers stock prices and Oprah’s pockets.
Thanks for this comment, LL. For me it's not so much that I think Weiner should be disclosing her surgery from some kind of moral/journalistic integrity standpoint (I imagine that she/NYT figures it's enough that she's written/given interviews about it elsewhere), but that it seems like such a weird missed opportunity to explore WHY people make the decisions they do and how complex that calculus is. Weiner could have brought in her own experience/contradictions re: surgery to this discussion and it would have been a much more compelling read, imo. Like, why write an op-ed about this issue as if you're on the outside looking in, when you've been IN the muck of this yourself in a very specific way?
And I agree that the bittersweet longing is just so bizarre. People seem to forget that the culture has come a shockingly long way from even 10 years ago re: how we discuss bodies/represent them in media. We have those movements to thank. Just because some people still want to lose weight doesn't change that.
Oh, I didn’t mean to suggest it’s a moral obligation. It’s not Weiner but the NYT that has the guideline. It’s just as you say--pertinent to the story. More interesting. Why leave it out? To appear more objective?? Not the point of an op ed.
i really appreciate your writing and perspective. i spent college in recovery from a binge eating disorder, and only now, four years after college, have i been able to get to a place where the idea of losing weight and being conscientious about what i eat doesn’t feel like a regression on my recovery or a sign that i’ve slipped back into that familiar shameful, self-loathing mindset
because body positivity/neutrality is almost always presented as black and white: either you hate yourself so you’re trying to lose weight, or you’ve learned to accept yourself so you’ll just let your weight fluctuate to whatever number and never limit what you eat in any way. i’ve fully hit both extremes of that binary now, and i’m finding my way toward the middle. i’m so thankful you’re writing about that middle ground! it’s so important and we surely don’t see enough of it
I'm SO happy to hear this Adriane! I feel very much the same. The "messy middle" is where most people live and it's also the place that's so hard to write about/talk about. It's nuanced and specific and weird, so it doesn't make for good branding or promotion on the internet, lol
So powerful, thank you once again for your continued body image support. I chant to myself every morning self love praise to drown out the sadness over the ever growing and changing female body staring back at me in the mirror. My once 8 pack fitness model abs covered by...I’m not sure what this is. All I know is that I am healthier than I’ve ever been off of drugs, alcohol, nicotine, adderol, and sugar. I practice mindful eating and this is what “healthy” wants to look like on me.
I love your comment that we don’t really know how the body works. This really resonated with me. A gift now engrained in my mind that I will carry with me. A new chant to support the desire to love myself. Because it feels so much better than the negative self talk.
Thank you Juliana! I'm so glad you connected with the piece.
I really relate to this post so much. I appreciate that you're not condemning her.
I'm still struck by the moment in Oprah's interview with Adele when Adele talks about how she started lifting and identified herself as an athlete. Oprah was shocked. Which honestly made me sad. I wonder how much of Oprah's mindset/approach toward her body could improve with a strength regimen (that could also perhaps help with some of her see-sawing weight?). I appreciate your critiques here and your recognition of Oprah's humanity, and it also just sucks to see someone still trapped in a battle they've been fighting for 30+ years. When do we rest from our own self-criticism?
This is a great point. I had a thought about this while writing but tbh have no idea what kind of exercise Oprah does or not. But the interview did make it seem like she’s not really a strength training gal at the moment. I do wonder how that would go for her if she really got into it.
And yes, the fact that rest seems to elude us all… incredibly sad
Or accept our criticism may always be with us? What if we loved our criticism instead of fought it? These are just thoughts I’m saying out loud for myself:).
This was a great piece, Mikala - thank you for writing what I have been struggling to come up with myself. I think you're spot on about Oprah doing this because she's a "finisher" - I think my perfectionism is the reason I keep cycling between starting a "diet" or Noom or something and radical self-acceptance. I feel too that I am a finisher who maybe even isn't doing this because of other people's opinions of me, but simply to prove I can. This gave me something to think about. Thank you!
"simply to prove I can" ... OOF I get it!!!!
Thank you Sarah!
This kicked ass
love ya both
Thanks for all this. I’ve avoided the whole pearl-clutching scene around Oprah’s latest weight news as much as possible, but your piece made me finally click that NYT op-ed. Is it wrong to be shocked by Weiner’s lack of disclosure? They typically make you report on conflicts of interest, and I think if you’re going to use a massive platform like an NYT op ed to bash someone else’s body management choices, the writer’s involvement seems worth mentioning. And what was with the strange midpoint where out of nowhere came a bittersweet longing for a body positivity moment. Did I miss that? Near as I can tell, the Ozempic wave began building long before Oprah’s People interview. More diverse representation has been building, too. Pocketbooks will ultimately determine the victor. Businesses don’t advertise to be charitable. As you so deftly point out, the invterview is calculated to inflate Weight Watchers stock prices and Oprah’s pockets.
Thanks for this comment, LL. For me it's not so much that I think Weiner should be disclosing her surgery from some kind of moral/journalistic integrity standpoint (I imagine that she/NYT figures it's enough that she's written/given interviews about it elsewhere), but that it seems like such a weird missed opportunity to explore WHY people make the decisions they do and how complex that calculus is. Weiner could have brought in her own experience/contradictions re: surgery to this discussion and it would have been a much more compelling read, imo. Like, why write an op-ed about this issue as if you're on the outside looking in, when you've been IN the muck of this yourself in a very specific way?
And I agree that the bittersweet longing is just so bizarre. People seem to forget that the culture has come a shockingly long way from even 10 years ago re: how we discuss bodies/represent them in media. We have those movements to thank. Just because some people still want to lose weight doesn't change that.
Oh, I didn’t mean to suggest it’s a moral obligation. It’s not Weiner but the NYT that has the guideline. It’s just as you say--pertinent to the story. More interesting. Why leave it out? To appear more objective?? Not the point of an op ed.
i really appreciate your writing and perspective. i spent college in recovery from a binge eating disorder, and only now, four years after college, have i been able to get to a place where the idea of losing weight and being conscientious about what i eat doesn’t feel like a regression on my recovery or a sign that i’ve slipped back into that familiar shameful, self-loathing mindset
because body positivity/neutrality is almost always presented as black and white: either you hate yourself so you’re trying to lose weight, or you’ve learned to accept yourself so you’ll just let your weight fluctuate to whatever number and never limit what you eat in any way. i’ve fully hit both extremes of that binary now, and i’m finding my way toward the middle. i’m so thankful you’re writing about that middle ground! it’s so important and we surely don’t see enough of it
I'm SO happy to hear this Adriane! I feel very much the same. The "messy middle" is where most people live and it's also the place that's so hard to write about/talk about. It's nuanced and specific and weird, so it doesn't make for good branding or promotion on the internet, lol
Well said. It is human to crave belonging. It is so hard for fat bodies to belong in our diet culture society. 😣😞😡
Really well written and thought through
Thank ya babe
This is such a great piece! Thank you <3
Thanks Christina!
Great job again, Mikala!
Thanks so much Evan, and for recommending me to your readers
Thanks so much for your comment Tonya! It really warms my heart to hear you look forward to my pieces :)