Thank you for this. While I think discussions about the dialogue surrounding appearance is important (as clearly you do too), I often wish there were 98% less emphasis on appearance altogether, especially when it comes to appearance being assessed as some sort of value scale from bad to good. Very much appreciate this take.
"what I feel would be most healing for all of us is to care less about what other people’s bodies look like, full stop, and focus on how it feels to live inside our bodies and what our values around movement, nutrition, beauty standards, and body culture have to do with it."
That hit me in a good way. And I think that when we feel embodied and at peace with our own selves, that is when we can advocate for change that betters the world for everyone. Thank you for this <3
I want to agree, but I also think seeing different body types more commonly around can be helpful in the process. I just watched the Netflix documentary about Simone Biles and felt empowered. We all need to do the inner work, but to reach a point where I’m not dependent on the male gaze or whatever beauty standard to feel good about myself, I belive it is helpful to see diversity represented in the media and sports.
This really spoke to me. I lost a lot of weight before our third kid was born. But my motivation was terrible because it wasn't for me: I thought it would make me more attractive to my wife while we were struggling. But it didn't help and that led to several years of depression. Since then, I've realized that for it to be sustainable I have to do it for myself, not some external validation, which is never enough.
“Put another way, what I feel would be most healing for all of us is to care less about what other people’s bodies look like, full stop, and focus on how it feels to live inside our bodies and what our values around movement, nutrition, beauty standards, and body culture have to do with it.” - perfection!
Having come from elite sports, I feel this one all too well. I also grew up around the time of those 90s gymnasts, and though I played volleyball, which attracted taller and bigger bodies, I still felt that pressure to be thin. Even a focus on function over looks still adds a pressure that is so much work to handle.
Endlessly impressed by what gymnasts can do. Doing it despite malnutrition/abuse is that much more impressive.
This was my favorite line "focus on how it feels to live inside our bodies and what our values around movement, nutrition, beauty standards, and body culture have to do with it."
It feels like it’s always about how pleasant a body looks to someone else, but our bodies are not made to please others' gazes.
Damnnnnn. Take as much time away as you need (especially if it means you keep coming back to us hot af with this rare, beautiful TRUUUUUTH)🔥😮💨
OK lemme go on another vacation... xoxo
Like usual, you’ve succeeded in writing about something complex with searing clarity.
I appreciate that so muchhhh
Thank you for this. While I think discussions about the dialogue surrounding appearance is important (as clearly you do too), I often wish there were 98% less emphasis on appearance altogether, especially when it comes to appearance being assessed as some sort of value scale from bad to good. Very much appreciate this take.
Also, please excuse my grammar- I'm tired!
Thank you, River. Totally agree!
This was so good, thank you!
Thanks for reading it!
YOU CLEARRRRRED!!!
:D thank you!!!
Good writing. I have very mainstream, one might say, problematic aesthetic preferences, but i appreciate your writing
This means a lot, thanks for your honesty
Love it, from one rectangle to another.
Rectangles rise up! ▮▮▮
👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼
"what I feel would be most healing for all of us is to care less about what other people’s bodies look like, full stop, and focus on how it feels to live inside our bodies and what our values around movement, nutrition, beauty standards, and body culture have to do with it."
That hit me in a good way. And I think that when we feel embodied and at peace with our own selves, that is when we can advocate for change that betters the world for everyone. Thank you for this <3
I want to agree, but I also think seeing different body types more commonly around can be helpful in the process. I just watched the Netflix documentary about Simone Biles and felt empowered. We all need to do the inner work, but to reach a point where I’m not dependent on the male gaze or whatever beauty standard to feel good about myself, I belive it is helpful to see diversity represented in the media and sports.
This really spoke to me. I lost a lot of weight before our third kid was born. But my motivation was terrible because it wasn't for me: I thought it would make me more attractive to my wife while we were struggling. But it didn't help and that led to several years of depression. Since then, I've realized that for it to be sustainable I have to do it for myself, not some external validation, which is never enough.
“Put another way, what I feel would be most healing for all of us is to care less about what other people’s bodies look like, full stop, and focus on how it feels to live inside our bodies and what our values around movement, nutrition, beauty standards, and body culture have to do with it.” - perfection!
Having come from elite sports, I feel this one all too well. I also grew up around the time of those 90s gymnasts, and though I played volleyball, which attracted taller and bigger bodies, I still felt that pressure to be thin. Even a focus on function over looks still adds a pressure that is so much work to handle.
Also, this post about body types and dysmorphia was also great. https://substack.com/home/post/p-147302258
Great insight, delivered in such a powerful and clear way - thanks for this thoughtful piece!
Endlessly impressed by what gymnasts can do. Doing it despite malnutrition/abuse is that much more impressive.
This was my favorite line "focus on how it feels to live inside our bodies and what our values around movement, nutrition, beauty standards, and body culture have to do with it."