Thank you for articulating what I couldn't exactly put my finger on about beauty as self worth, and for identifying an alternative way of thinking about it - in dialing the other tracks up. I appreciated and enjoyed this essay. Thank you.
This was so meaningful to read, as someone who has had very similar struggles. I get nervous raising a daughter in the world of her peers, too. But I think your reflections about how to just help her receive said feedback on her body and not equate it with her self worth, is spot on.
So well written! Thank you for this!! I have witnessed all those things growing up with my beautiful and thin-framed mom. There were always a couple kilos too much, the hair not perfect etc. I am still struggling at 35 with getting rid of those inherited views/thoughts and I am so SO scared to pass this on. When I started cycling something new happened: I could appreciate my body for what it can do instead of how it looks. It was such a wild feeling! ❤️ Time to get some more tracks going.. for me and for him/her. :) Thank you
I'm currently slow-rolling a big weight loss (very similar proportions to what you described here), and something I'm really curious about is if the line between flirtiness and friendliness changes, particularly in the minds of random dudes you encounter out in the world. I've been bigger for 17 years of adulthood and have actually really enjoyed that the vast majority of interactions skew friendly, and I don't have to dial things back with people I don't want to flirt with because they usually aren't flirting with me in any purposeful way. Did you find that your personality was read as more flirty as you lose weight? I could be completely overthinking this, but it's such a weird and awkward question that I feel like people outside body talk discussions wouldn't have any idea how to answer it.
Absolutely true, every word. You have walked through fire and your perspective is so much wiser for it. Any child, boy or girl, would be lucky to have your self-awareness as a model. Wishing you a joyful journey to parenthood — you ARE ready and you WILL be an amazing mom!
Much of this resonated deeply with me - being the 'fat' child all through high school (even though I wasn't - children are just cruel creatures), being the larger daughter of a tiny, objectively beautiful mother to suddenly being the object of desire, the complicated relationship with food, equating 'thin'ness with worthy of being loved ...
I am childless, so I might not be qualified to comment on your introspections about raising a girl in the current and future social (media) climate - but I do want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for writing about what I've been feeling all my life. Well done !
You're articulating things I haven't even figured out how to say to my therapist yet, though I long to. Thank you
That means so much to me Mary, thank you. I'm glad this resonated with you <3
Thank you for articulating what I couldn't exactly put my finger on about beauty as self worth, and for identifying an alternative way of thinking about it - in dialing the other tracks up. I appreciated and enjoyed this essay. Thank you.
Thanks so much for reading! I loved the “tracks” thing Susan wrote about. I’m glad you could appreciate it too.
This was so meaningful to read, as someone who has had very similar struggles. I get nervous raising a daughter in the world of her peers, too. But I think your reflections about how to just help her receive said feedback on her body and not equate it with her self worth, is spot on.
Thank you so much. I’m glad it resonates.
So well written! Thank you for this!! I have witnessed all those things growing up with my beautiful and thin-framed mom. There were always a couple kilos too much, the hair not perfect etc. I am still struggling at 35 with getting rid of those inherited views/thoughts and I am so SO scared to pass this on. When I started cycling something new happened: I could appreciate my body for what it can do instead of how it looks. It was such a wild feeling! ❤️ Time to get some more tracks going.. for me and for him/her. :) Thank you
Thank YOU Julia! Sounds like you're well on your way toward establishing some new patterns and thoughts around this complicated subject :)
I'm currently slow-rolling a big weight loss (very similar proportions to what you described here), and something I'm really curious about is if the line between flirtiness and friendliness changes, particularly in the minds of random dudes you encounter out in the world. I've been bigger for 17 years of adulthood and have actually really enjoyed that the vast majority of interactions skew friendly, and I don't have to dial things back with people I don't want to flirt with because they usually aren't flirting with me in any purposeful way. Did you find that your personality was read as more flirty as you lose weight? I could be completely overthinking this, but it's such a weird and awkward question that I feel like people outside body talk discussions wouldn't have any idea how to answer it.
Absolutely true, every word. You have walked through fire and your perspective is so much wiser for it. Any child, boy or girl, would be lucky to have your self-awareness as a model. Wishing you a joyful journey to parenthood — you ARE ready and you WILL be an amazing mom!
Reading this has been so healing, you really put into words what im going though after losing 70 pounds. Thank you :)
This piece is so raw and I love how you didn’t hold back. You went in as honest as possible
Appreciate you saying so! Just trying to be an open book.
Much of this resonated deeply with me - being the 'fat' child all through high school (even though I wasn't - children are just cruel creatures), being the larger daughter of a tiny, objectively beautiful mother to suddenly being the object of desire, the complicated relationship with food, equating 'thin'ness with worthy of being loved ...
I am childless, so I might not be qualified to comment on your introspections about raising a girl in the current and future social (media) climate - but I do want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for writing about what I've been feeling all my life. Well done !
Thank you so much for your words! I'm so happy it resonated with you.