Love seeing you talk about clothes! One of my 2025 goals has been getting more in tune with my personal style, especially how to make the most of what I already own. I've found that being playful with my closet and not overthinking it has made a huge difference. It’s so easy to get frustrated when outfits don’t come together, but we forget that styling is a skill and takes practice and curiosity.
After learning that the average person buys 53 new items a year (!!), I’m challenging myself to keep new purchases under 12 for 2025. If you’re interested in this topic, The True Cost on YouTube is a great watch that goes beyond the usual “more clothes = bad” take.
One of the best things I’ve done for my style is finding my three “style words” (shoutout to Allison Bornstein). Mine are playful, polished, and flirty, and keeping them in mind has made getting dressed way more fun. My favorite recent outfit? A blue cropped long-sleeve with low-waisted wide-leg jeans, a scarf tied to 2 of the belt hoops, classic hoops, and black boots. I used to second-guess what I was wearing in social settings constantly, but this has eliminated that.
Oh, and if you want to nerd out over your closet, I’ve been obsessed with the Indyx app. It lets you catalog your wardrobe, plan outfits, and track cool metrics like cost per wear. Basically, it makes me feel like I’m playing a Barbie dress-up game, but with my own clothes. Total game changer when I’m feeling stuck! So sorry for this monologue, it really is something I love learning/talking about.
“You just cannot be a bad hang when you’re dressed like somebody’s pilled-out aunt who teaches art therapy and brought her own karaoke machine to the function.” 😂💥 Loved this line. My leopard/cream orange Sambas bring me a lot of joy lately and they always fit!
Incredible!! I host an entire interview-style podcast about how body image, body awareness and self acceptance relate to getting dressed, so I have a lot of thoughts on this topic! Personally, I love having a color palette, which makes getting dressed easier (everything generally looks good together). I also pay a lot of attention to how my clothes *feel* on my body, not too tight, but still fitted so they aren’t moving around all day requiring adjustment. And I put in a lot of effort to find pants that fit comfortably, both jeans and leggings that look like pants (with the right shoes). Anyway, super important topic and a lot to unpack!
Yes, I need a little bit fitted! I have this one dress that always stretches out so much when I wear it and then I'm messing with it all day. I like something with some structural staying power!
I have four versions of a dress from Réalisation Par called the Stephanie. Bias cut midi length, sleeveless with a moderately deep V neck and a waist tie, no zipper. It is the perfect dress for me. I can wear a turtleneck underneath when it’s cold (which also gives Miss Honey elementary teacher vibes) or a cardigan over the top. I can wear it with a lacy bra for date night. I can layer a top over it and wear it as a skirt. It’s a failsafe. It always makes me feel good even on my worst body image days. The bias cut silk skims the body without clinging. Other thing that makes me feel good: recently splurged on a vintage rabbit fur and shearling jacket (I know, I am terrible) in the Penny Lane style. It’s black. It’s belted at the waist. It has fluffy collar and bell sleeves. It’s Italian from the 90s. It’s incredibly FABULOUS. I wore it over my off-duty ballerina look (black leggings, black turtleneck that’s a little sheer, black bra, gray socks, moc toe black red wings because it’s gross where I live) with a white faux fur hat and someone told me I looked like a Russian sugar baby. Which I feel is the highest possible compliment.
Love this topic! I have so many thoughts. I feel my best in clothes that are comfortable, practical, and interesting in some way. I need my clothes to feel good on my body and fit my lifestyle, but I also want to express some facet of me with the way I dress. It's taken a while, but I know what I like and what I don't, and I feel good about my personal style and what I have in my wardrobe. Right now, my go-to outerwear is a white fluffy hat and an enormous midi-length floral quilt coat with a Sherpa collar. I LOVE this coat. I think, years ago, I would have been scared to draw attention to myself for fear of what other people would say, but I've realized that a lot of that worry is self-imposed. I live in the Midwest (we've never been known as a bastion of style) and I kind of stand out in a sea of black puffer coats, but I get *nothing but compliments* about this coat. Literally, the deli guy at my grocery store complimented my coat just yesterday. The experience--wearing what I like and the sky not falling--has made me even more confident to lean into what I like.
There is truly nothing like a good coat. I'm definitely a cold weather gal because I just feel so great in a big loud coat. If a deli guy is giving you a compliment you know you've got it going ON
When I feel really insecure about my body I go stealth mode. Oversized everything — I want to be shrouded and swaddled in my clothes. I come out to exercise, swim, shower and fool around. Fortunately the look suits my sense of style really well— I wear a lot of oversized clothes even when I’m feeling pleased with my shape too!
Okay, first of all: I LOVE the eccentric friend Insta series. Every time they come across my feed, I watch. I'm the equivalent not in clothes but in craft supplies.
In terms of clothes: I feel most confident in a ball cap, ponytail, sunglasses on top of my head, and either a Tshirt, hoodie, or something with a collar. In college, this is basically what I'd wear to help myself focus on assignments. The cold-weather version I've found in the last year is my favorite jeans (currently straight leg, light wash, with some casual tears), one of my handmade sweaters, and my hair half-up. I like structured clothing, prefer to dress casual, and fun colors that make me smile.
Sitting in a wheelchair makes dress a little more complicated. So easy to put on sweatpants and a big sweatshirt. That was my winter uniform and I didn't go out much. But there is nothing like a new outfit. I'm one of those people that the minute I buy something it has to go on the next day. Right now I'm totally into these new jeans I got at Target no less, but they are wide at the bottom and fit perfectly. And I found this great vintage store with different necklaces. I also have a trach so I have an endless supply of scarves so the tone of my scarf can tell you how I'm feeling. I'm trying to get out more and my closet now, that it is cleaned feels like it has all new clothes. I'm trying different combinations. And believe me, just putting on some lipstick, red right now for resistance, makes me feel fabulous.
High waisted dark jeans with a loose crop, chunky white sneakers, square neck crop tank — if I want to feel hot, that’s my go to. Another favorite, by contrast, is a big poofy tulle dress by Selkie 🎀
Great topic and discussion. I am very into clothing and I usually enjoy dressing. However, I’m in an, um, interesting phase of life (turning 60 this year and firmly post-menopausal). I have an extra stubborn 15 lbs that make me a bit self-conscious. But I have dressing strategies that mostly help me get on with my life. I’m self-employed and an artist so I have creative leeway, but I mostly prefer looks that are what I think of as refined badass. It’s easier in the cooler months when I can layer. Denim, leather, some edgy details. I have a few Alexander McQueen scarves that are great for edgy/pretty accents. I like structure so a good leather jacket is my friend (I hate cardigans on me). I have a short torso and long legs, and I like to disguise that by cheating my waistline down a bit, so I kinda miss mid-low rises.
Right now my favorite type of ensemble is full-length bootcut or wide leg jeans, a tee or blouse, a jacket with some edge or personality, plus boots or sneakers. Most days I carry a grey Bao Bao flat backpack as my purse, and it’s the item I own that gets more compliments from strangers than any other. I always wear a statement ring or two on my right hand.
I struggle more with style in summer. Our summer is hot and humid and jeans are out of the question for me. I try to work with lighter-weight pants and sleeveless tops, or do a long floaty printed skirt with a solid black or white tee. I keep trying to find great casual dresses for summer but they all seem too frumpy, sporty, short/bare, or dressy. I wear shorts sometimes but I don’t have great-looking legs so I prefer more coverage.
So many thoughts and feelings about my body & clothes; as you can imagine. I have always felt like getting dressed in something that isn't athleisure-wear was a gift to myself. Obviously KEY above all is that my jeans (yes, almost always jeans) must fit me. I spent way too long wearing jeans that pinched and were tight in my thighs, but a few years ago I went in-person shopping for denim, went up 2 sizes from what I wore previously, and I've never looked back.
I loved what someone else wrote with "stealth mode" because when I'm not loving myself (mentally, physically, etc) you WILL find me in an all-black outfit. The kicker is that when I AM feeling myself I will also probably be in an all-black outfit but I'll wear each with a different level of confidence.
Right now I'm seeking those outfits that when I put them on I feel amazing (like your Avocado/ Lemon-Lime outfit which was epic). Then I make a note to myself that I loved it and I mentally give myself permission to repeat it as often as it feels good.
I've always preferred sporty/casual clothes, and don't like anything that makes me feel too girly. My favorite outfit that makes me feel most like myself is high-waisted skinny jeans with a tank top or graphic tee, and a pair of ankle boots or sneakers. I like black, blues, and grays. I live in Vermont where winters are long, dark, and cold so I try to incorporate more color but that's maybe some dark green or purple if I'm being bold. :)
Love seeing you talk about clothes! One of my 2025 goals has been getting more in tune with my personal style, especially how to make the most of what I already own. I've found that being playful with my closet and not overthinking it has made a huge difference. It’s so easy to get frustrated when outfits don’t come together, but we forget that styling is a skill and takes practice and curiosity.
After learning that the average person buys 53 new items a year (!!), I’m challenging myself to keep new purchases under 12 for 2025. If you’re interested in this topic, The True Cost on YouTube is a great watch that goes beyond the usual “more clothes = bad” take.
One of the best things I’ve done for my style is finding my three “style words” (shoutout to Allison Bornstein). Mine are playful, polished, and flirty, and keeping them in mind has made getting dressed way more fun. My favorite recent outfit? A blue cropped long-sleeve with low-waisted wide-leg jeans, a scarf tied to 2 of the belt hoops, classic hoops, and black boots. I used to second-guess what I was wearing in social settings constantly, but this has eliminated that.
Oh, and if you want to nerd out over your closet, I’ve been obsessed with the Indyx app. It lets you catalog your wardrobe, plan outfits, and track cool metrics like cost per wear. Basically, it makes me feel like I’m playing a Barbie dress-up game, but with my own clothes. Total game changer when I’m feeling stuck! So sorry for this monologue, it really is something I love learning/talking about.
you don't even know what you've done telling me about the style words and the Indyx app .... this has changed my life ....
If you need any help with the words, there's a wheel here you can use: https://www.threads.net/@allisonbornstein6/post/Cue1aK5L-y_
“You just cannot be a bad hang when you’re dressed like somebody’s pilled-out aunt who teaches art therapy and brought her own karaoke machine to the function.” 😂💥 Loved this line. My leopard/cream orange Sambas bring me a lot of joy lately and they always fit!
omg drop the link
https://www.stadiumgoods.com/products/samba-og-wmns-leopard-cream-orange-139278
💘
Incredible!! I host an entire interview-style podcast about how body image, body awareness and self acceptance relate to getting dressed, so I have a lot of thoughts on this topic! Personally, I love having a color palette, which makes getting dressed easier (everything generally looks good together). I also pay a lot of attention to how my clothes *feel* on my body, not too tight, but still fitted so they aren’t moving around all day requiring adjustment. And I put in a lot of effort to find pants that fit comfortably, both jeans and leggings that look like pants (with the right shoes). Anyway, super important topic and a lot to unpack!
Yes, I need a little bit fitted! I have this one dress that always stretches out so much when I wear it and then I'm messing with it all day. I like something with some structural staying power!
Yes!! 🙌🏼
I have four versions of a dress from Réalisation Par called the Stephanie. Bias cut midi length, sleeveless with a moderately deep V neck and a waist tie, no zipper. It is the perfect dress for me. I can wear a turtleneck underneath when it’s cold (which also gives Miss Honey elementary teacher vibes) or a cardigan over the top. I can wear it with a lacy bra for date night. I can layer a top over it and wear it as a skirt. It’s a failsafe. It always makes me feel good even on my worst body image days. The bias cut silk skims the body without clinging. Other thing that makes me feel good: recently splurged on a vintage rabbit fur and shearling jacket (I know, I am terrible) in the Penny Lane style. It’s black. It’s belted at the waist. It has fluffy collar and bell sleeves. It’s Italian from the 90s. It’s incredibly FABULOUS. I wore it over my off-duty ballerina look (black leggings, black turtleneck that’s a little sheer, black bra, gray socks, moc toe black red wings because it’s gross where I live) with a white faux fur hat and someone told me I looked like a Russian sugar baby. Which I feel is the highest possible compliment.
I just looked up that dress and it's FAB. These all sound amazing, please send pics (only if you want, no pressure)
Love this topic! I have so many thoughts. I feel my best in clothes that are comfortable, practical, and interesting in some way. I need my clothes to feel good on my body and fit my lifestyle, but I also want to express some facet of me with the way I dress. It's taken a while, but I know what I like and what I don't, and I feel good about my personal style and what I have in my wardrobe. Right now, my go-to outerwear is a white fluffy hat and an enormous midi-length floral quilt coat with a Sherpa collar. I LOVE this coat. I think, years ago, I would have been scared to draw attention to myself for fear of what other people would say, but I've realized that a lot of that worry is self-imposed. I live in the Midwest (we've never been known as a bastion of style) and I kind of stand out in a sea of black puffer coats, but I get *nothing but compliments* about this coat. Literally, the deli guy at my grocery store complimented my coat just yesterday. The experience--wearing what I like and the sky not falling--has made me even more confident to lean into what I like.
There is truly nothing like a good coat. I'm definitely a cold weather gal because I just feel so great in a big loud coat. If a deli guy is giving you a compliment you know you've got it going ON
When I feel really insecure about my body I go stealth mode. Oversized everything — I want to be shrouded and swaddled in my clothes. I come out to exercise, swim, shower and fool around. Fortunately the look suits my sense of style really well— I wear a lot of oversized clothes even when I’m feeling pleased with my shape too!
There are definitely some oversize things that make me feel even more powerful, not so much like I'm hiding. I love a big boxy blazer, actually!
Yes that 80s big shouldered look is powerful— same goes for loose pleated trousers in weighty fabric. Or a huge skirt! Clothes that take up space.
Okay, first of all: I LOVE the eccentric friend Insta series. Every time they come across my feed, I watch. I'm the equivalent not in clothes but in craft supplies.
In terms of clothes: I feel most confident in a ball cap, ponytail, sunglasses on top of my head, and either a Tshirt, hoodie, or something with a collar. In college, this is basically what I'd wear to help myself focus on assignments. The cold-weather version I've found in the last year is my favorite jeans (currently straight leg, light wash, with some casual tears), one of my handmade sweaters, and my hair half-up. I like structured clothing, prefer to dress casual, and fun colors that make me smile.
HANDMADE sweaters, excuse me??? Where is the pic
Lol, let me dig through my camera roll
Sitting in a wheelchair makes dress a little more complicated. So easy to put on sweatpants and a big sweatshirt. That was my winter uniform and I didn't go out much. But there is nothing like a new outfit. I'm one of those people that the minute I buy something it has to go on the next day. Right now I'm totally into these new jeans I got at Target no less, but they are wide at the bottom and fit perfectly. And I found this great vintage store with different necklaces. I also have a trach so I have an endless supply of scarves so the tone of my scarf can tell you how I'm feeling. I'm trying to get out more and my closet now, that it is cleaned feels like it has all new clothes. I'm trying different combinations. And believe me, just putting on some lipstick, red right now for resistance, makes me feel fabulous.
You always have the most beautiful scarves :)
Love this discussion so much. So much wisdom. Thank you!!
I dress like a drunk kindergarten teacher and I LOVE IT.
pilled-out aunt + drunk kindergarten teacher = style icons
High waisted dark jeans with a loose crop, chunky white sneakers, square neck crop tank — if I want to feel hot, that’s my go to. Another favorite, by contrast, is a big poofy tulle dress by Selkie 🎀
I'm gonna need to see a pic of the Selkie dress
Selkie!!!!
I will email you some outfits :)
yessss cannot wait
Fabulous piece !
Great topic and discussion. I am very into clothing and I usually enjoy dressing. However, I’m in an, um, interesting phase of life (turning 60 this year and firmly post-menopausal). I have an extra stubborn 15 lbs that make me a bit self-conscious. But I have dressing strategies that mostly help me get on with my life. I’m self-employed and an artist so I have creative leeway, but I mostly prefer looks that are what I think of as refined badass. It’s easier in the cooler months when I can layer. Denim, leather, some edgy details. I have a few Alexander McQueen scarves that are great for edgy/pretty accents. I like structure so a good leather jacket is my friend (I hate cardigans on me). I have a short torso and long legs, and I like to disguise that by cheating my waistline down a bit, so I kinda miss mid-low rises.
Right now my favorite type of ensemble is full-length bootcut or wide leg jeans, a tee or blouse, a jacket with some edge or personality, plus boots or sneakers. Most days I carry a grey Bao Bao flat backpack as my purse, and it’s the item I own that gets more compliments from strangers than any other. I always wear a statement ring or two on my right hand.
I struggle more with style in summer. Our summer is hot and humid and jeans are out of the question for me. I try to work with lighter-weight pants and sleeveless tops, or do a long floaty printed skirt with a solid black or white tee. I keep trying to find great casual dresses for summer but they all seem too frumpy, sporty, short/bare, or dressy. I wear shorts sometimes but I don’t have great-looking legs so I prefer more coverage.
So many thoughts and feelings about my body & clothes; as you can imagine. I have always felt like getting dressed in something that isn't athleisure-wear was a gift to myself. Obviously KEY above all is that my jeans (yes, almost always jeans) must fit me. I spent way too long wearing jeans that pinched and were tight in my thighs, but a few years ago I went in-person shopping for denim, went up 2 sizes from what I wore previously, and I've never looked back.
I loved what someone else wrote with "stealth mode" because when I'm not loving myself (mentally, physically, etc) you WILL find me in an all-black outfit. The kicker is that when I AM feeling myself I will also probably be in an all-black outfit but I'll wear each with a different level of confidence.
Right now I'm seeking those outfits that when I put them on I feel amazing (like your Avocado/ Lemon-Lime outfit which was epic). Then I make a note to myself that I loved it and I mentally give myself permission to repeat it as often as it feels good.
I've always preferred sporty/casual clothes, and don't like anything that makes me feel too girly. My favorite outfit that makes me feel most like myself is high-waisted skinny jeans with a tank top or graphic tee, and a pair of ankle boots or sneakers. I like black, blues, and grays. I live in Vermont where winters are long, dark, and cold so I try to incorporate more color but that's maybe some dark green or purple if I'm being bold. :)