Interesting take on this "body neutral" phrase. When I first heard it, it really resonated with me. I think I'm an extremely interesting person aside from my body. I also feel the pressure to be "appealing" with my body, both from within and without, so this phrase eased some of that pressure. I see what you mean though, about how it doesn't quite fit as a blanket statement for all people. And while for me it is liberating, it could be diminishing for people such as yourself who have invested blood, sweat and tears into crafting an interesting body, not just a thin one. Mad props to you! Thanks for all you do.
I fully understand and support your desire to think your body is interesting and something you work really hard for and are proud of. I think that’s beautiful.
We all use it for different reasons.
I’ve said for years that the way I look is the least interesting thing about me because there has been an intense focus on how I look my whole life. I never thought about my appearance until others brought it up at school. My family didn’t place value or focus on physicality.
Some people like to reduce others by their looks as if we couldn’t possibly have anything else going for us. People talk about pretty privilege, and yes, that is real, but pretty prejudice also exists.
The other day, I read a comment saying they write people off if they’re good-looking. The prejudice is astounding and makes me so damn sad. Would they say that about a race, an ethnicity?
The way I look, it is just a shell that will get old and crack. I don’t put weight in something so fleeting. I don’t derive my self-worth from how I look, but other people do, and it’s bullshit. (This is separate from people who feel good about themselves and their appearance, I’m talking about when we treat other ppl differently because of how they look.) To say the way I look is the least interesting thing about me is a shove back to people who form preconceived notions from something I find so vapid and trivial. If you’re going to be mean to me or write me off because you don’t like my shell…that’s wild because the best, most exciting, MOST INTERESTING of all is my life, what I’ve been through, how I’ve lived, and how I’ve loved, how I show up for my people and fight for their happiness alongside them.
Thanks for this comment <3 I think it's a good example of how these phrases can be helpful for some people more than others. I'm glad it's useful in this way for you!
I'm with you Mikala. Body neutral is something I've never heard of--- I know where have I been. As a quadriplegic my body forms my identity. So it doesn't matter and I should just move on? Sorry. I work hard to keep this body healthy, clean, and free from pressure sores. I take pride in how I look because many in society see those with disabilities as less than and usually dirty and not put together. I'm not neutral in any way, shape, or form. Yes, and VOTE. Your body depends on it.
I don't have much use for the evangelical side of body positivity.
I have moved to the body neutral side of things. It is a Stoic sort of thing.
You do you. I do me. It is what it is. I don't judge you, you don't judge me. It is as wrong to judge someone for being triathlon fit as it is for being a couch potato
To me, my body is my mind's tool. It gives me the ability to do things that I enjoy. A tool can be left out to rust or broken with careless use. I prefer to keep it in good working order. That isn't a point of morality, it is pure pragmatism. I need it to be able to meet the demands I put on it. Since different people have different demands, this inevitably leads to different bodily philosophies.
Placing demands on your body is as valid a decision as not placing demands on your body. However, there are practical considerations to this. If you don't at least try to take care of your health, do not be surprised if your body becomes a burden much earlier than needs be.
Thirty years ago, my body was still attractive in the traditional sense. Forty years ago I used it to make part time money modeling and stripping. Today, I'm a tired old man. I am NOT going to say my body is as good as it ever was. It is clearly deficient in some areas and merely adequate in others. I do whatever is practical to stay healthy, understanding that health and well-being are relative conditions.
As someone who’s spent her entire adult life dancing, my body has been the source of so much joy even with having ED in my teens and ongoing body size issues. I totally agree with you, I can’t imagine thinking that my body isn’t interesting. It is capable of so many wonderful things. My connection to it as a vehicle for movement is what saved me in so many ways throughout my life.
Spot on as always! I find the "least interesting" language sad somehow. Like how can this body that I live in every day, that is the medium through which I interact with the world, be uninteresting? Having a body is the most basic thing about being human. As someone who rejects any kind of religious or supernatural beliefs, being an embodied human is the basic truth I start from in oder to understand, well, basically everything. It's literally all there is. I find my body - how it feels and also what it looks like - endlessly interesting.
What I dislike about the "bodies are uninteresting/unimportant" phrasing is that it seems to play into the current fashion for pretending sexiness and titillation don't matter. I go wild for bodies. I struggle with weight issues (I grew up in the late 90s, early 2000s, its inevitable) but I like how my body changes when I lift weights, wear different clothes, shape it with lingerie, etc. You ask a good question—why is pretending not to care about bodies the new wellness technique? A marvel of evolution! A sexy flesh suit where you live! Sorry, but my body might just be fascinating.
Interesting take on this "body neutral" phrase. When I first heard it, it really resonated with me. I think I'm an extremely interesting person aside from my body. I also feel the pressure to be "appealing" with my body, both from within and without, so this phrase eased some of that pressure. I see what you mean though, about how it doesn't quite fit as a blanket statement for all people. And while for me it is liberating, it could be diminishing for people such as yourself who have invested blood, sweat and tears into crafting an interesting body, not just a thin one. Mad props to you! Thanks for all you do.
Thanks, Camilla. I'm glad you can see this in multiple ways. There's definitely a complexity to it
I agree with this. I think bodies are fascinating. Without a body, what even are you?
I fully understand and support your desire to think your body is interesting and something you work really hard for and are proud of. I think that’s beautiful.
We all use it for different reasons.
I’ve said for years that the way I look is the least interesting thing about me because there has been an intense focus on how I look my whole life. I never thought about my appearance until others brought it up at school. My family didn’t place value or focus on physicality.
Some people like to reduce others by their looks as if we couldn’t possibly have anything else going for us. People talk about pretty privilege, and yes, that is real, but pretty prejudice also exists.
The other day, I read a comment saying they write people off if they’re good-looking. The prejudice is astounding and makes me so damn sad. Would they say that about a race, an ethnicity?
The way I look, it is just a shell that will get old and crack. I don’t put weight in something so fleeting. I don’t derive my self-worth from how I look, but other people do, and it’s bullshit. (This is separate from people who feel good about themselves and their appearance, I’m talking about when we treat other ppl differently because of how they look.) To say the way I look is the least interesting thing about me is a shove back to people who form preconceived notions from something I find so vapid and trivial. If you’re going to be mean to me or write me off because you don’t like my shell…that’s wild because the best, most exciting, MOST INTERESTING of all is my life, what I’ve been through, how I’ve lived, and how I’ve loved, how I show up for my people and fight for their happiness alongside them.
Thanks for this comment <3 I think it's a good example of how these phrases can be helpful for some people more than others. I'm glad it's useful in this way for you!
The thoughts you shared bring to mind a Coco Chanel quote I love: “In old age we get the face we deserve.”
🎯❤️🔥
I'm with you Mikala. Body neutral is something I've never heard of--- I know where have I been. As a quadriplegic my body forms my identity. So it doesn't matter and I should just move on? Sorry. I work hard to keep this body healthy, clean, and free from pressure sores. I take pride in how I look because many in society see those with disabilities as less than and usually dirty and not put together. I'm not neutral in any way, shape, or form. Yes, and VOTE. Your body depends on it.
I love the way this made me think
Thank you! That makes me so happy
I don't have much use for the evangelical side of body positivity.
I have moved to the body neutral side of things. It is a Stoic sort of thing.
You do you. I do me. It is what it is. I don't judge you, you don't judge me. It is as wrong to judge someone for being triathlon fit as it is for being a couch potato
To me, my body is my mind's tool. It gives me the ability to do things that I enjoy. A tool can be left out to rust or broken with careless use. I prefer to keep it in good working order. That isn't a point of morality, it is pure pragmatism. I need it to be able to meet the demands I put on it. Since different people have different demands, this inevitably leads to different bodily philosophies.
Placing demands on your body is as valid a decision as not placing demands on your body. However, there are practical considerations to this. If you don't at least try to take care of your health, do not be surprised if your body becomes a burden much earlier than needs be.
Thirty years ago, my body was still attractive in the traditional sense. Forty years ago I used it to make part time money modeling and stripping. Today, I'm a tired old man. I am NOT going to say my body is as good as it ever was. It is clearly deficient in some areas and merely adequate in others. I do whatever is practical to stay healthy, understanding that health and well-being are relative conditions.
"my body is my mind's tool" -- i really like this. Thanks for your comment Fred. You make excellent points
This was so interesting, Mikala! Thank you for this.
Thanks Anna :)
As someone who’s spent her entire adult life dancing, my body has been the source of so much joy even with having ED in my teens and ongoing body size issues. I totally agree with you, I can’t imagine thinking that my body isn’t interesting. It is capable of so many wonderful things. My connection to it as a vehicle for movement is what saved me in so many ways throughout my life.
Same! <3
Fuck, this is the first essay of yours I’ve found, and I’m bowled over. You pulled feelings from my brain and wrote them so beautifully.
Thank you!!! Love to hear that
Spot on as always! I find the "least interesting" language sad somehow. Like how can this body that I live in every day, that is the medium through which I interact with the world, be uninteresting? Having a body is the most basic thing about being human. As someone who rejects any kind of religious or supernatural beliefs, being an embodied human is the basic truth I start from in oder to understand, well, basically everything. It's literally all there is. I find my body - how it feels and also what it looks like - endlessly interesting.
I really loved this one Mikala 🫶
Thank you, love!
Then don’t eat like me.
What I dislike about the "bodies are uninteresting/unimportant" phrasing is that it seems to play into the current fashion for pretending sexiness and titillation don't matter. I go wild for bodies. I struggle with weight issues (I grew up in the late 90s, early 2000s, its inevitable) but I like how my body changes when I lift weights, wear different clothes, shape it with lingerie, etc. You ask a good question—why is pretending not to care about bodies the new wellness technique? A marvel of evolution! A sexy flesh suit where you live! Sorry, but my body might just be fascinating.